Wait, no drainage holes? For five whole months? I had to read that twice because I cannot believe you went through all that spraying and repotting before checking the pot itself. I have killed more plants than I care to count with that exact same mistake, so I feel your pain. My snake plant was sitting in a decorative pot with no holes for almost a year, and it only survived because I barely watered it. The second I drilled holes in the bottom, it started putting out new growth like crazy.

Quit overthinking it and just steal that neighbor's trick before they move away. I spent years wrestling with furring strips and a hammer at 7am during hurricane season, only for the damn tarp to rip anyway. Spring clamps and paracord sound like something a pirate would use, but hey, if it holds through a storm, I'm all for it. My own neighbor swears by bungee cords clipped to cinder blocks, which is honestly just asking for a trip to the ER. Guess we're all out here learning basic physics from whoever's got the loudest drill.