Your buddy Dave drives a pickup with weight in the back, right?

Wait, isn't Louis L'Amour mostly known for writing about the Old West in America though? I mean he traveled a ton and put real geography in his books, but Ohio isn't exactly frontier country - that detail kind of threw me off. Still, your main point about slowing down to catch the real details is spot on, that's a good trick for any book.

Did you at least get a good explosion video out of it lol?

Nobody's talking about how you can just blend up some roasted veggies into the sauce. Extra flavor, no effort, and it looks like you actually tried.

Mud, spiders, and a warm soda - that's a pretty good deal for 3 hours under a house. Did he say why they mounted it upside down in the first place? That detail alone makes me wonder if there's a story there, like maybe a previous installer who was a real piece of work or something.