Messaged my birth mom on Facebook and she didn't reply for 3 weeks

I finally worked up the nerve to reach out to my birth mother last month. I typed out this long message explaining who I was and that I wasn't looking for anything crazy, just wanted to know if she was okay. Then the silence hit. Three full weeks of checking my messages every single day with nothing back. I was sitting in my car outside the grocery store in Tacoma when I finally got a notification. She wrote back saying she needed time to think and that my message brought up a lot of old stuff she buried. We've traded a few messages since then but it's super slow going. Has anyone else had a birth parent go quiet on them after reaching out?

2 comments

2 Comments

harper_owens1d ago

Honestly, maybe the silence was a favor. Three weeks isn't that long for someone to process a huge emotional bomb you dropped on her, and rushing her feelings wouldn't have helped either of you. Pushing for a quick reply might've made her say things she'd regret, so the slow pace could actually be her being careful with your heart.

shane_perry291d ago

So you're saying I should thank her for making me sit in a mental waiting room for three weeks with no snacks or magazines? Because that's what it felt like, just staring at my phone wondering if I accidentally joined a witness protection program. I get being careful with someone's heart, but at some point you gotta wonder if the silence means the heart got lost in the mail. Three weeks is enough time to binge a whole season of a show, grow a small beard, or decide you're allergic to certain people forever. I'm not saying she had to rush, but a simple "hey give me a bit" would have cost less energy than ghosting like I'm a awkward cousin at a wedding. Maybe the slow pace was her being careful, or maybe it was her being done.