DAE mark the first birthday after placement without falling apart?

My daughter turned 3 last Thursday and I actually baked her a cake this time instead of sitting in my car in the Target parking lot like I did her first two birthdays. I lit one candle, ate a slice by myself at the kitchen table in Reno, and wrote her a short letter I'll probably never send. Does anyone else do something small like this, or am I the only one who needs a ritual to get through the day?

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sage_rodriguez13d ago

Did you find that doing something with your hands helped more than just letting the day pass? I went through the same thing with my son and the first year I just stayed in bed with the covers over my head, which honestly made it worse. The next year I made a small photo album of the few pictures I had and that gave me something to hold onto instead of just staring at the wall. Now I write him a letter every year on his birthday and keep them in a shoebox, and maybe one day he will read them or maybe he won't. The cake you baked and that letter sound like a real way to honor her, and doing it at your own table in your own home matters. It gets a little less heavy each year, not because you forget but because you find your own way to carry it.

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