Just realized it's been 18 months since my daughter's placement, and I'm actually okay today.

3 comments

3 Comments

How do you even measure that? I spent a whole year thinking a good day meant I didn't cry in the grocery store. Now a good day is just a normal Tuesday where I forget to be sad about it. It's a weird feeling, like your heart finally learned to walk on a broken leg.

hayes.elliot2mo ago

But that's just moving the goalposts, isn't it? You went from needing a big win to get through the day to now calling basic function a win. It sounds less like healing and more like you're just getting used to the pain being there all the time. Forgetting to be sad isn't the same thing as not being sad.

james_ross1mo agoTop Commenter

Man I read something the other day about how the brain basically rewires itself when you're going through long term grief. It's not about getting over it, it's about building new paths around it. What @reese_thompson74 said about learning to walk on a broken leg really stuck with me. That's exactly what it feels like - you're still carrying the damage, you just figure out how to move differently so it doesn't stop you completely.