A caseworker said my letters were too much about me, and it stung

I was sending updates to my son's adoptive family every month, full of my own news and feelings. After a year, the caseworker gently pointed out that the family really wanted more concrete stuff about his growth and interests, not just my updates. I started focusing on things like 'he's reading chapter books now' or 'he made the soccer team' instead of my own life. It felt weird at first, but the replies got longer and more open. Has anyone else had to shift what they share in letters or visits?

2 comments

2 Comments

fiona_webb4d ago

My cousin Beth used to send these long emails to her daughter's foster family about her new job stress. After a quiet few months, her caseworker mentioned the family felt lost on how to connect with the kid. Beth switched to sending three bullet points each time, like "Addy learned to ride a bike Tuesday" or "her favorite snack right now is goldfish crackers." The next photo they sent back was Addy on that same bike, smiling. It changed everything for her. How did you find the right things to share?

cole3573d ago

Honestly fiona_webb, I get the point but that's a lot of pressure. Like, are we grading parents on their email formatting now? It just seems wild that a kid's whole connection hinges on whether mom sends a paragraph or a bullet point list about goldfish crackers.