My buddy the novelist said my villain was too nice

I was workshopping a crime thriller with a friend who's published three books, and he read my antagonist's first scene and said 'this guy reads as a guy who forgot to return a library book, not a murderer.' That comment made me realize I'd been so scared of making him cartoonishly evil that I sanded off all his edge entirely. Has anyone else had a beta reader point out something so obvious you felt dumb for missing it?

2 comments

2 Comments

williamprice7d ago

Oh wait, actually that comment probably helped you more than you think. A guy who forgot to return a library book isn't a villain, but a guy who would murder someone over a late fee? Now that's something interesting.

richard_ramirez7d ago

Wait hold on. Did I read that right? Murder someone over a late fee? @williamprice, you kind of just dropped a bomb there. I've seen some crazy disputes over library stuff before but never heard of anyone getting killed over a fine. That's straight out of a bad movie or something. No way that's real, right?