Got told my cold emails were 'too formal' by a hiring manager in Seattle

Switched to a more conversational tone with shorter paragraphs and a specific question at the end, and now I get like 3x more replies - has anyone else had better luck ditching the corporate speak in their outreach?

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dylanbell2mo ago

I used to be all about the formal approach myself honestly. I spent like 6 months sending super polished emails with full sentences and bullet points and got maybe 2 replies total. Then a buddy of mine who works at a startup in Austin told me to just write like I'm messaging a coworker. I switched to short 2 sentence emails with a single question at the end like "does your team still need help with X?" and my reply rate went from almost nothing to around 1 in 4. It felt wrong at first because I thought recruiters wanted professional wording, but real people are just busy and appreciate something quick to read.

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richard_ramirez2mo ago

Honestly, I get why the casual thing works for some people. I sent out like 40 emails last month with a really laid back tone, short lines, and a direct question at the end, and I got maybe 2 replies. My buddy in Denver does the same thing and he swears by it, but for me it just felt like I was underselling the role. The hiring manager at that Seattle place might have said "too formal," but that could mean your email was long or unclear, not that you need to drop all structure. I think there's a middle ground where you keep it clean and polite but skip the jargon, and that's what's been working for me.

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