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My caseworker said I should be grateful, and I finally pushed back after 11 years
We met for coffee in Phoenix last Tuesday, first time I'd seen her since I signed the papers in 2013. Somewhere in the small talk she said most birth moms she works with just want someone to tell them they did the right thing. I told her that's exactly the problem, because nobody says that to the moms who chose to parent, and the gratitude script only works if you never ask what we lost. She went quiet and then admitted the agency stopped offering the long term support calls because too few women showed up. How many of you got the grateful line, and did you push back or just nod?
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harris.vera5d ago
Eleven years is a long time to carry that. My worker said the same thing back in 2015, word for word about being grateful, and I nodded because I was 19 and didn't know I was allowed to be angry. Hearing that the agency dropped the support calls because "too few showed up" tells you everything, those women weren't fine, they just stopped trusting the people who kept handing them a script. You pushing back in that coffee shop mattered, even if she's the only one who heard it.
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