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Overheard my nephew say something about my writing that stung
My nephew Liam, who's 14, saw me working on a short story last Sunday and said "Aunt Ray, your characters all talk like they're reading a dictionary." I realized he was right because I had three different people saying "indeed" in one scene. How do you make dialogue sound like real people instead of stiff robots?
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sethp267d ago
I gotta push back a little on reading it out loud, because that never works for me. When I read my own writing out loud, my brain automatically fills in the pauses and tone I intended, so it always sounds fine to me. The real issue is that we write dialogue like we're explaining something, not like we're talking. People stumble, they repeat themselves, they start sentences and then pivot halfway through. "Indeed" is a perfect example. Nobody says that in casual conversation unless they're being sarcastic or pretending to be fancy. My approach is to write a whole scene, then go back and cut every word that feels too perfect or polished. If a character says "I believe that" I change it to "I think" or just "Yeah." And I keep. It. Short. Real people don't monologue. They interrupt each other and leave thoughts hanging. Your nephew did you a favor honestly. Did you ask him for more notes?
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Wait, your nephew actually called you out for having three characters saying "indeed" in one scene? That's brutal but also kind of hilarious. Kids have no filter, which is honestly a gift sometimes (even when it stings). The dictionary thing is such a specific burn too, like he really sat there and noticed your word choices. But he's totally right about real people not talking like that. I catch myself doing the same thing where I write dialogue that sounds like a textbook or a fancy speech instead of how actual humans talk. My advice is to read your dialogue out loud after you write it. If it feels stiff in your own mouth, it's gonna feel stiff on the page.
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